my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
