Apparently you make a good broom.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
false alarm. still invincible.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
