I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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