i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
