I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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