I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
