I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
