He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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