This house was built for laser tag.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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