so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
