dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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