My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
