Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize