would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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