So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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false alarm. still invincible.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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