I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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