I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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