shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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