Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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