I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
did i just pee glitter
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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