Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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