why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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