i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
