she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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