Only a mothe r could love this liver
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
