You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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