does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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