my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
