girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
