i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
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I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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