I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
honey bunches of taint.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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