I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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