you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
