My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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