Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
