So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have already put on my inside pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
