dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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