Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
