that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
