Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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