So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
