Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
