I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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