We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
