I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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