well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When did angry sex become our thing?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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