just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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