Me too!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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