I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
