i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
