Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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