vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
