So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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