I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
