I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
