Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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