Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
