She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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