I got chris browned last night
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Randomize
