he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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