I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
