Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
sex in a hospital.. check
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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