Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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