I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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