I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
