sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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